More Non Sequiturs (12/6/05)

I love watching infomercials. My favorite is the Magic Bullet! You can make everything with it and it all takes 10 seconds or less: Guacamole, alfredo sauce, chocolate mousse, margaritas, quesadillas, pesto sauce, sorbet . . . and the guy has an Australian accent, which totally rocks! But all infomercials are great. You watch them and by the end you believe that if only you had that particular item, your life would be soooo much better.

I am personally repulsed by Chuck Norris and cannot stand to look at him because his mouth looks like a vagina. I had the same problem with Yasser Arafat.

True confession: I apply my makeup while I’m driving in the morning. It means I can stay in bed 10 minutes more in the morning. When I was in high school it took me no more than 30 minutes from getting up to walk out the door. As the years went by and I had to add lotion applying and hair drying, etc., I got up to 45 minutes. When I started closing in on an hour, I needed to find some way to cut back. So now I do my makeup while driving. Don’t worry. I don’t do any fine details while the car is moving, just base application, blush, etc. I wait for like eyeliner til I hit a red light. (Well, unless it takes too long for a red light to come.)

I’m not so good with pet names. I wish my dog’s name was something besides Goober. I let my ex name her. He’s such an ass. I also wish my cat was named something besides Chloe because if I ever have a daughter I’d like to name her Chloe. Think I could convince her the cat was named after her, not the other way around? And my other cat is named Andy. Because first he was named Amy until his one ball dropped. And Andy sounds pretty close to Amy, which he had already started answering to.