Monday, January 22, 2007

2nd Date, Part II: Tina is Crazy

So when we last left off, Tina had gotten too drunk due to cough syrup and wine combo and decided to play Questions with P...let's see where those two crazy kids ended up.

I must admit that I do not remember all of the conversation but here are some highlights: I told him all the little things he had done so far that bothered me, like RSVPing for both of us to the Dodd rally when I had already RSVPed for myself. See, I am freakish about my independence right now, which is probably why I haven't been dating. I told him how when he wrote to me in an email that he preferred speaking face-to-face instead of on the phone and instant messaging and he knew I felt the same way, that that really steamed me. We had only been out on one date. How could he know that about me? And this comment was in response to my asking him what his screen name was, so clearly I do IM and I told him, "You know what? I actually LOVE instant messaging. And it really bothered me that you would make an assumption about me."

I made several comments like this, and you know what? He didn't get upset and leave. I remember he asked me what would make me end things right away with someone, and I said, "Losing my independence, feeling smothered." I need my own space. I don't recall the things he listed in answer to that question, but I know that one of the things that he listed as a deal breaker is true of me. I didn't say so Friday night, though.

There were very good parts about the conversation. We shared what issues were most important to us politically, talked about what we want out of life, whether we want to move out of Connecticut, things like that. A lot of those answers made us seem pretty compatible.

We snogged more and more as the evening went on. He wants to run for office, which makes perfect sense to me after seeing him in action at the Dodd announcement. I told him that I would not picture myself as a politician's wife. Nothing I said seemed to throw him, so I thought, what the hell. Maybe my bad vibes about this thing are just me flipping out about dating. I decided to sleep with him.

Of course, the thing is, the thing that happened that should have let me know right away (were I sober) that I was not making a rational decision, is that part of my thought process on taking this step was, "Well, better to know now if we click in bed. If we really click, maybe I can get over some of the other stuff." And then--here is the first sign that Tina is crazy--the other part of that thought process was that while the "in bed" stuff was going on, the second part of the thought process was, "I should really sleep with Mike too because if I am giving P. this chance, Mike deserves it too. Mike and I have an equal or greater chance of working out."

Mike, who I often refer to as My Mike, is a guy who I've always been pretty sure is half in love with me but is incredibly shy. I've known him for years and occasionally have dinner with him, but nothing ever happens because he is so shy he won't try anything and even though I know how he feels about me, I have yet to develop a strong enough urge to care to try something from my end. Additionally, I think in the back of my head I know that if things worked out with Mike, it would be a Relationship. So we have dinner now and then and then don't talk for months at a time.

So here I am, sleeping with one guy and deciding that I should sleep with another, neither of whom I am convinced I want to Date. The sex was . . . sex. It's hard for sex to be bad. It wasn't bad. It wasn't great. As soon as it was over, I began to feel smothered. He was propped up on one elbow, looking down lovingly at me, caressing me. And I just wanted to be alone. I even made a joke about how he must be trying to figure out a way to leave now.

But he slept over. I remember waking up a few times during the morning and going back to sleep, hoping that if I slept long enough, he would just leave. By 11 AM, I knew this strategy would not work so I got up and took the dog out, then sat down to begin doing some homework. P. came out of the bedroom and sat down right next to me on the couch, put his arm around me, and kept trying to make out with me some more. I was having trouble breathing.

He wanted to cook me breakfast. I told him I don't eat breakfast and in fact don't have anything in the house to make breakfast with. He kissed me some more. I couldn't breathe. I would try to pull away and he would put his hand behind my head and pull me to him to kiss me some more. If I successfully pulled away, he pulled me into his arms and kissed the top of my head or caressed my cheek.

I said I really needed to get some homework done. (HINT HINT!) He said, "Okay, I guess I'll leave. . . in a little while!" And began sucking my face again. I couldn't breathe. I was having a panic attack for like an hour while he kept trying to make out with me! Tight chest, shortness of breath, you name it. And this guy seems like he's about to profess his love for me and all I can think is, "How can I make him leave?"

He asked when he could see me again. I said not this weekend. I'm doing my homework. And I'm very busy during the week. How about next weekend? Nope. I think I'm going to Washington for the peace march. More suffocating kisses. Then finally he left.

And I did not walk him out for fear that it would bring on another bout of kissing.

I told my story to two friends and received very different reactions. Whitney seemed amused and empathetic. Rose, on the other hand, told me what I sort of knew already--that I was a bitch to him and he's a really nice guy and doesn't deserve it. She thinks I should call him and meet for drinks again or something, that I should give him another chance and even though I don't think it will work out in the long run, he is good practice for dating again.

I think the longer I see this guy, the more likely his feelings will get hurt. I fear he's already picked out some Valentine's Day present for me and is planning on introducing me to his friends and family. Argh!

I don't know what to do!

5 comments:

Ameloblast said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ameloblast said...

It'll be hard to figure out what to tell him, but for his sake, given what you've written, I don't think it'll be a good idea to go out with him again...My 2 cents.

Tina said...

Yes. I'm afraid you're right, amelo. I just don't break up with people. Hence an 11 year relationship. Gotta learn how to do it sometime,though, I suppose.

Ameloblast said...

Toughest thing in the world to do. That and firing people...Is this really a break up though?

Tina said...

Yes, I would think it's not a break-up, but part of my problem with P. is I think he would think I already owe him an official break-up. But I guess that's his problem, not mine.

Still, after sharing this story with more friends, everyone seems split dead even on just ending things versus continuing to see him for the sake of dating, so long as things are light.

My own feeling on the matter changes often.