Wednesday, April 23, 2008

The Office Is Full of Floozies

(I'd apologize for the inappropriate nature of this post but then most of you have read this blog long enough to expect inappropriate . . .)

This is how low I’ve sunk: I went to the ladies’ room a few minutes ago to remove my panties because they are old and uncomfortable, so now I am going commando (with a skirt on) all because I have been too lazy to do my laundry for two weeks. And on my way back to my cube, I walked past the secret service guy who is in the office today preparing the Republican senator for President Bush’s visit later this week. And here I am walking around like a floozy with the breeze blowing across my ass cheeks.

AND.

And I went and told my office mate because I wanted to make sure it wasn’t obvious that I was walking around without panties on (not being a person who generally makes a habit of those types of things [at least in public]), and guess what I found out? She (who shall remain nameless) walked to work from the train station today as her panties crept into her ass crack so when she got to the office, she stormed into the bathroom, tore them off, and threw them into the trash. So there are two panty-less, skirted chicks in my office today. If only the secret service guy knew . . .

And THEN.

I got this email from my friend Raquel when I got back to my chair from the excursion:

HERE'S A RIDDLE TO MAKE YOU SMILE. Pantyhose quiz Q: How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose?
Now, think about it...

Answer: 10 little piggies . . .




2 calves . . .








1 ass . . .











an unknown number of hares . . .





and of course one (1) . . . ahem . . .

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Stream of Consciousness

why they are opposite . . . going to be an aunt again . . . the things that make him right . . . forgiving/forgetting . . . i'm sure i'm forgetting something . . . why so sensitive?

Friday, April 04, 2008

I like stories where the timing is completely different from all the other stories, where you’re never sure whether you’re near the end or just the start of another chapter of the story, not even when you pay attention to the timing of where the beginning and the end are. They break the rules, stretch the bounds of story-telling, not to the point of unbelievability—not to the point where they seem to break the bounds of reality—but just to the point where you are never sure what might happen next. You know there will be an end, eventually, but you don’t know exactly where it will come or what will happen when it does—but you know for absolute certainty that the path you take getting there will be highly enjoyable. I love stories like that, to be honest.