Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Keep on Keeping on

I hid out for a week. Rachel came over twice; Rose came up. Kristy did what I needed her to do because I just couldn't do it. Then I was back. You've got to keep on keeping on. If I had a job, I wouldn't have allowed myself to take a week, I'm sure. I was doing better.

Then the other day, Kristy brought me Goober's ashes. I don't know what to do with them. They came in a decorative tin, one in which you might otherwise place cookies. The tin was in a cello bag. There was also a wooden box shaped like a chest, with "Goober 1996-2007" emblazoned on it. It is more appropriate than the tin. I wanted to put the ashes into the box, but the tin wouldn't fit inside and when I lifted the tin, the ashes slid around and something inside clunked. No way was I opening the tin. I did NOT want to see what went clunk.

So the box is on the mantle above my fireplace for now; the tin is resting on top of the box. I think the box is meant for her collar and other mementos, but I don't know what to do with the ashes. I can't bury them in my yard; I rent, and who knows how long I will be here? I can't think where to scatter them, and all I can think as far as what Goober would want is that she'd want to be near me.

But I can't keep the stuff on my mantle for too long; people will think it's creepy.

The Big X's dad kept the ashes of his dead cats in a closet, with the understanding that when he died the ashes would be buried with him. Still, I can't help thinking that people will think that's creepy too. Every option seems either creepy or not respectful of what Goober would want. I'm probably putting much too much thought into this, but I can't help it.

. . .

And in the spirit of trying to keep on keeping on, I am leaving later today on my UK trip. Check up on me at my travel blog if you like.

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