Friday, May 05, 2006

Socially Acceptable Polygamist vs. Depraved Sex Maniac

The men in my life are a strange mix. I do not, obviously, have a boyfriend but I have men that fill various roles and all told probably add up to more than a boyfriend.

I have my Mike, who I haven't seen in a few months but did see tonight. He wants to see me next week. I agreed. I just don't get him though. At the meeting where we ran into each other tonight he was totally checking me out all night and over dinner next week again will make all these moves as if he's interested but never make the Big Move. (Which is okay I suppose since I don't have a physical attraction to him.)

There is the Friend With Benefits, who I haven't spoken to in a couple of months but have been in contact with over the last week or so. Our relationship picked up right where it left off--very sexual and that's about it. Which is okay with me. We talked about developing a deeper friendship and he said something about "more." The "more" scared me a bit. I told him the first two I was into, but the "more"--I wasn't sure how I felt about being more with anyone at this point and I'd need time to think about it. He said it would take time to get to that point anyway, so I guess that leaves us where we started--FWB--which I guess I'm okay with.

There is Eli. He is a good friend of mine who lives half the country away. He is always supportive when I have bad stuff going on and sometimes we flirt a bit but it's harmless given the distance.

There is Jake and Whitney, who have adopted me as their nonsexual third partner practically. Like their kid except I'm older than both of them. Sort of like that couple from California with the killer dogs that adopted that grown man in prison. (No I'm not in prison.) They take me fun places.

I have a couple of other male friends that fall somewhere between good friend and mere aquaintance: Jerry, Whit's Mike, Seth and Ryan (they are a pair--not in a sexual way!), Eddie.

All this leaves me...confused about men. I have all of my needs fulfilled and then some between all these guys but I still feel like there is a different path expected of me by my friends. I feel like Single Girl, whose friends can't wait to see her settle down or something.

And yes, sometimes I find myself wanting more of these aspects in one man (mostly when I am upset), but more often I am very happy with the men in my life. It's like I am a socially acceptable polygamist.

When I'm not feeling like a depraved sex maniac.

1 comment:

dan said...

Every man has one or two good traits. Finding one with more means you've hit the jackpot.

And we all know the chances of winning the lottery. :)