Friday, November 30, 2007

The Musician, Part III

So the third date with the Musician was on Friday (the day after the Republican date). We were going to dinner and a movie. He picked me up at my apartment and when I came down to meet him, he was wearing the hideous girl glasses again. I swallowed hard and thought, you can get over this. You can get over this! So off we went to dinner.

Over dinner it became apparent that the great conversation we had on our second date? A fluke. Thinking back, I realized that the only reason I thought we had great conversation was because I had carried the conversation myself. Having just spent a week in New Hampshire house-sitting and with no one to talk to, I had had a lot to say the other night. Now that it was up to both of us again, he was not holding things up at all. There were so many awkward pauses in which I could stare directly at his hideous girl glasses-covered face and realize that nope, still not attracted to him. Any niceness I felt in cuddling just had to do with the fact that I had A Guy's arm around me, and was not looking into his beady-eyed, sweaty little face.

Harsh, I know, but this is what I thought. I thought, I know he is very, very nice, but there is no way I will ever become attracted enough to him to sleep with him. The end. And then, to seal his fate, he opened his mouth and told me that he had brought a camera to take a picture of us as a couple so he could show the other guys on tour his girlfriend. Did he NOT remember the conversation in which I told him I am commitment phobic and we need to go slowly and not use terms like girlfriend just yet? At this point I began to hyperventilate, and of course, the waitress was ignoring the table, so despite the fact that we had been finished for well over 15 minutes, she had not come to bring the check. So I did the only thing I could think of: I excused myself to the ladies' room.

And I hid in there. Probably for ten minutes. I called my friend Mike (not my Mike; we're pretty much over. This would be Mike #2) and talked it through with him. I decided that I could use my panic time in the restroom as a good excuse, tell him I wasn't feeling well (hence the long absence), and couldn't make the movie so please bring me home. This was a time when I seriously considered walking home (the restaurant was only a few blocks away) and ditching a guy in the restaurant. I was that panicky. But I didn't. I sucked it up, went back to the table, where the check had finally arrived, and lied through my teeth.

He brought me home and thankfully did not bring up taking a picture of "us as a couple" again. I made my excuses and went into the house. Mike came over in a half hour or so and we got drunk and ranted about how much guys and girls suck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And next time...the Urination Incident.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ah the needy musician. What a catch! Good thing you threw him back.

dan said...

I'm so glad I don't have to date guys.

Really. We suck.

The Republican date btw? Hilarious. I'm fairly conservative in my foreign policy outlook (being the cynic I am), but definitely socially fairly liberal.

It's interesting to see the wheels turning in his head wondering why telling someone that kids without healthcare should just "suck it up" wouldn't be a turn on... to anybody. lol