Thursday, July 20, 2006

Anal F@#k

Mom had surgery today. It was up 2 hours early this morning so we could all take turns getting in the shower then rushing down to the hospital for 8 am check-in so we could wait. We waited for hours. They were behind. Mom fell asleep after awhile, having had the first drug injected. I fell asleep too, sitting up in an uncomfortable chair in the prep room.

She went in eventually.

I was sick, had been for the past couple of days. I went out to the car and laid down to try to sleep for an hour or so; it would be about 2 hours before we heard anything. When I came back to the waiting area after a somewhat successful nap, I read a bit of my book distractedly. There was a little boy, maybe six, with his grandmother. Eventually I heard something from this boy's mouth. I thought for sure I must have been mistaken. Surely I had not just heard this boy say . . .

anal fuck.

So I looked around furtively but no one else seemed to be disturbed by anything so I went back to reading my book. The grandmother muttered something to him. Then I very distinctly heard the boy carefully pronounce, as if it were three separate words . . .

a . . . nal . . . fuck.

Oh-kay. No denying it this time. Still, no one else seemed willing to admit they had just heard what I had so I filed it away under bizarre happenings to share with someone later in my brain.

Eventually after an extra hour from what was predicted to us, Mom's radiologist, followed by her surgeon, came and told us things had gone fine and she'd be fine. We could see her in a couple more hours. We went out to grab some food and then Stacy and I sat at Mom's bedside for over four hours, letting Kristy go home and rest up a bit before she came back to spend the night with Mom. (Mom hates being in the hospital at night alone.)

Dad came home after visiting her after work. He was worried about Kristy, how tired she looked. She didn't get much sleep last night, he told us. So he was going to go over at 4:30 in the morning and had to leave by 6:30. In his own polite way he was telling Stacy and I we had to go relieve him then. Stacy waited. And waited. She looked at me and waited some more.

Finally I pointed out that I, though having gotten some sleep the night before (which by the way so had Stacy), had also been sick the past couple of days on top of having to work like 12 hour days including tomorrow. (Stacy, a teacher, has no job this summer.) Eventually Stacy stepped up and said she could go at 6:30 if I'd relieve her at 8. Because you know that hour and a half would fucking kill her.

And . . . bitter Tina steps out here . . . never once did my dad decide in all the time that I cared for my mother FULL TIME on top of working a FULL TIME job (which Kristy is not doing right now) that perhaps I could use a bit of fucking help.

Not even when I asked him.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

glad your mom's surgery was "successful". Hugs to you on carrying so much on your shoulders.

An anal fuck indeed.

Hugs, T, and hope you feel better soon.

Anonymous said...

i'm glad things went well with your mom's surgery. let me know if there is anything i can do to help- even if its just someone to scream at for a minute or two!

dan said...

Echoing "glad everything turned out fine" sentiments here.

We all have to take what we can from whatever we can. Someday in the future, you're going to be glad to have had all this extra time with your mom and you will never question whether you 'did enough'.

If I figured the other people in your story were capable of feeling guilt, I'd simply remind you of what they'll feel like someday. Maybe not tomorrow, but for the rest of their lives.

Anonymous said...

How's you're mom doing, Tina? And then how are you doing?