Tuesday, December 27, 2005

The Details of Sunday (12/22/05)

So Sunday . . . Whit was up and ready to go to brunch about an hour before I would have chosen but what could I do? I had committed. So after a sock fiasco I was out the door and on the way to IHOP with my hands free kit on so anyone looking would think I was talking on the phone instead of belting out tunes with my stereo. Got there and didn’t have to wait too too long but when we were seated our table was awfully close to the table next to us. The guy who was kitty corner to me was blatantly listening into our conversation. Also we had no pepper and when I asked the waitress for some, she borrowed it from the table behind us (which wouldn’t have been so bad if she had gotten them a replacement shaker instead of making us give it back to them when their food came, I mean, what is that? There are no more pepper shakers in all of IHOP??). Also I had a freak-out moment before I had enough caffeine where I thought I was pouring syrup into my coffee mug. Turns out no, it was really coffee.

So when we left we called Jenn to let her know we were on the way to pick her up. When we got there we beeped the horn and waited. A few minutes later Jenn’s boyfriend came out and we chatted with him for a few minutes after confirming that no, of course Jenn wasn’t ready yet. So after another ten minutes or so I beeped the horn again. Another five minutes go by and Jenn calls Whit. Are we there yet? Oh, we are? Well, she can’t find the sweater she wants to wear. So another five minutes later she’s in Prof. Bob and we are all on our way to go shopping.

We get to the department store and browse. Jenn is looking for photo frames, Whit is looking for the bathroom and I am looking at the PJs. (We all know how I feel about PJs.) Then we all turn our attention to the scarves. All girls love scarves matched with hats and gloves/mittens. But they are SO expensive so we don’t buy them. Except Jenn who finds the PERFECT glove match for a scarf she already owns. So we get out to the car and while Jenn is reviewing a receipt (an activity of which I never partake) she realizes the scarves/hats/gloves are 50% off. SO what are we to do? We have all fallen in love with some scarf/hat/glove set in there. I mean, we must return, right?

So we did. I decided that in good strategy I would wait in the long long line while the other two swooped in to get our predetermined accessory sets. So I waited. And waited. And waited. When I had gotten to the front of the line and let two other people go in front of me I called Jenn. Are you coming? I asked. Yes, she said. We’re on our way. I believed her. And I waited.

Ten more minutes went by. People in line thought I was a crazy lady. I called Jenn again. I said, the people in line are yelling at me. And a lady behind me obliged me by yelling when I said that. We are on our way, she said. So I waited some more.

Ten more minutes went by. I called again. What are you doing, I asked. Whit answered. Jenn lost her two year old she said. I think it was meant as a joke. I said as a joke back that I was going to go sit in the car. I didn’t. I was a loyal friend. I would not abandon my post at the front of the line. I waited some more.

Ten more minutes went by. I called again. The phone rang and rang. I thought no one would answer. Then Whit answered. Jenn won’t talk to you, she said. I said, I have watched the sun set. I am tired. My feet hurt. Are you coming? She said I thought you went to the car. I said I had just been kidding. She said she didn’t know I was just kidding (which doesn’t excuse them since when I said that I had already been waiting over 30 minutes) and they’d be right there.

By the time they got there at least an hour had passed. They went to the end of the line!!! I said, no. I have not been standing here for over an hour so you could stand at the end of the line. You come here right now!! And the lady behind me had the nerve to glower at us!! Oh I dared her to mess with ME! The betrayed friend! She took one look at my face and kept any thoughts to herself. Damn straight!! I was so upset I nearly cried. Okay so maybe I did a little.

I also called a mutual friend of ours, Mike L. I told him Whitney made me cry and let her deal with him. Boy did it make me feel good. I only wish I had a mutual friend of Jenn’s to pull the same trick with.

But then all was forgiven. That is the part of me that is not a good Capo di tutti Capi. I am too easy with my forgiveness. So we went to the mall and shopped some more. I showed Whit and Jenn the pinchy-cheeked boy. They agreed that his cheeks are very pinchable. He is a little afraid of me now even though I promised not to pinch his cheeks.

I also bought a very promisingly titled book, “How to Be a Villain.” More on that later as I read it.

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