Tuesday, December 27, 2005

How Old I Am (10/26/05)

I wish I could decide that I don’t want kids because this seems to be a big thing with guys. I mean, I don’t even know FOR SURE how I really, really feel about it. I used to think I absolutely wanted them but then now I’m not so sure. Maybe I do. The thing is, as a girl you’re supposed to know. I have a biological clock, did you know?

Apparently that’s supposed to define my life, this clock. If I want kids I should absolutely right now be looking for a husband so I can get on with the baby producing, which is after all what I’m here for. Isn’t it? Oh, wait. It doesn’t feel that way. But I guess that doesn’t matter.

Life just isn’t fair that way. God, why does whether I want a baby define my life? I mean, if there is a God, and he wants me to have kids, won’t I? If he doesn’t, I won’t, will I? Why does that have to be part of my relationships? I totally should not tell people how old I am.

It only results in bad things.

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