True and Not True Confessions of a Sick Person

Okay so I've been home all day in bed being gross since I'm sick. I ODed on expired Robitussin earlier in the day so that was fun. Knocked me out for a bit. Now I'm waiting for some Nyquil to be delivered to me along with Japanese food for dinner.

So I have a fun game. I'm going to list a bunch of things. Some of them I have done and some I have not. This way I can play true confessions without you knowing which is which, since some of you know me in real life and I don't want you to know for sure what I might have done.

I once . . .

• was in a ltr with one man and got engaged to another
• had one penis in each hand at the same time
• blew up the mailbox of a racist family
• sprayed weed killer all over the lawn of an enemy
• had sex in the exercise room of a hotel
• hit someone's car in a parking lot and didn't leave a note
• used someone's toothbrush to clean the toilet

So okay...some or none of that is true. You figure it out.