Wednesday, January 11, 2006

I Become Confused About Men

I've come to a realization about what guys mean to me right now. I am done with the one night stand/casual sex thing for now. I'm not saying I won't come back to that again; I mean, who knows? Two weeks from now I might be so horny I change my mind and have another fling, but I doubt it. (I mean, I can at least last a month.)

I'm not saying I'm looking only for the guy I'm going to marry or anything, just that I'm ready to at least attempt a relationship that might actually last a few months. Of course, I'm battling my inner demons on this one, because I'm still fearing commitment enough to not be willing to consider anything beyond a few months, maybe only two. Or maybe only one??

Geez, I suck. I need to get over this totally man-type fear of commitment.

Anyhow...all I know is that any guy who decides to date me right now is not gonna get lucky right away. Not saying I need to be in love for a guy to get lucky. I don't know, maybe I do. Maybe I don't. I am feeling so ambiguous right now. I know I'd at least wait until I knew he scored at least a 10 on the Futures Index. And that's with a mixed score on the Like and Lust Scales somewhere around 5 and 5, at least.

Oh what the hell do I know? At least, before I knew I only wanted two types of men. (For those of you that are slow to catch up, that's men I enjoy spending time with but don't find attractive, and men I find attractive but am not interested in platonically.) Now I don't know what I want at all. Guess I'm about where a lot of girls find themselves. Confused about men.

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