Sunday, January 08, 2006

I Rant About One Night Stands

I think a lot of girls get burned on one night stands because they aren't being honest with themselves about what is going on at the time. No one should ever sleep with someone on a first date/upon meeting them at a bar/on a drunken night with someone you've been friends with, expecting it to be the start of a beautiful relationship. But we girls tend to romanticize things, even when we try not to.

I'm not saying everyone always does this but I think more girls than guys get burned by reading too much into a one night stand. We convince ourselves that we slept with him so quickly because it was meant to be and nothing could keep us from giving into our feelings. Girls would do themselves much more justice if they just looked at it in a much more honest way.

Very few relationships actually begin under conditions which could possibly lead to a one night stand. Mostly, only one night stands happen under conditions which could possibly lead to one night stands. If we want to sleep with a guy before anything real has developed we need to go into it with our eyes open to the fact that this is what it is: Two people who don't know each other very well fulfilling a need both of them have. End of story.

Now yes, maybe something might develop after the fact but this cannot be used as a factor when deciding whether to have sex with a guy who is not your boyfriend. As long as you are okay with this being a onetime thing, no strings attached, then go for it and be safe. If you are going to be waiting around to see if he calls you for days after, then do not, I repeat do not sleep with this guy right now.

I am neither advocating nor opposing one night stands here. I'm sure many of us have been there and many others would not even consider it. Have I done it? Yes. Am I ashamed of it? Well, I wouldn't tell my mother about it and I wouldn't go doing it all the time, but I'm obviously not too ashamed to be writing about it here. I managed just fine because I knew what I was getting into and knew what I was not going to get out of it.

All I'm saying is that we should all be honest with ourselves about what is happening when we decide to get into these things.

No comments: