Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Things You Can Learn From My Purse

My cell phone is always on. So is my computer (and I'm always online). I can't stand to be disconnected ever since my mom got sick. It's not specifically about being able to know if she is in trouble or needs me. It's that my world is a different place for me now. Scary things can happen at any time of day or night. People I love may need me at any time and I want to be there for them.

I put my first DMV notice in my purse along with my checkbook. I don't normally carry my checkbook. I hate people that whip out their checkbooks and write a check for like ten dollars' worth of groceries. But tomorrow (finally) I'm going to the DMV to pay my $200 procrastination fee.

I carry about five pens at all times, in my purse, in my car, in my bookbag. I am always afraid of being without a writing instrument. I don't carry paper at all times. I find this can be improvised if needed-receipts, envelopes, napkins--the palm of my left hand is always a favorite if I'm desparate.

Gum, lip gloss and hand lotion are important to always have. Gum is great if you: 1. Have bad breath. 2. Are hungry but can't get food. 3. Are bored. Lip gloss is a quick fix for dried wintertime lips and also makes me look pretty! I am obsessed with not getting old lady hands so I must always have access to hand lotion. Period.

Breath spray and/or mints. I am hyperconscious about not smelling bad. I have been known to ask people to smell me randomly if I am afraid that I do smell bad. I also keep a stick of deodorant in my car for this same reason. And my hand lotion is scented for this same reason as well.

Pill splitter. I have gargantuan tonsils that interfere with my swallowing. If I am ever in a position where I have to bum pills off random people and they are too big for me to swallow, I must be able to cut them. I know that one day my pill splitter will be confiscated at the airport because of its big old razor blade.

There are also the usual things like a wallet, sunglasses, spare change rolling around in the bottom, lint balls, etc.

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