Not So Small Sins

I finished my last exam and I think I did okay on it. Now just a final report on my research to finish.

I'm still wondering about morality. When you examine historical documents from any religion, there are some basic morals imparted, usually the big ones: Don't kill or steal. Don't be hating on God(s). Don't covet, and so on. But there are also lots of little morals that are ingrained in all of us, whether religious or not.

I don't expect most people to break the biggies but I am amazed at how many small crimes we each commit every day: White lies, tiny betrayals and bigger betrayals, cheating a bit here or there, etc.

I do it. Everyone does. We all commit small sins but sometimes the tolerance we develop from these smaller ones leads to bigger ones, and when you've gone and committed a bigger moral mistake, you reason it away just like the small ones. It's the slippery slope that everyone warns you about.

Then suddenly you realize how horrible you have managed to be to someone that you really love, and maybe they don't even know it. And it is too late. Too late and DO NOT CONFESS. Not so you can get away with it but because, after much consideration, I really think that to confess to someone who is living in blissful unawareness of what you have done is unfair to them.

What happens? You assuage your guilt at the expense of that person's feelings. You destroy someone's sense of the world and dare to ask forgiveness afterward? More shame on you than you deserve just for committing the wrong in the first place.

What you deserve is not forgiveness, not at the expense of someone else's innocence. Let them keep their sense of security in the world. They certainly deserve that more than you do. Feel badly. Feel horribly. And keep it to yourself. That is your punishment.

Live with your guilt and never tell anyone.

Yes, I am guilty.