Pregnancy Scares Suck

The birth control pill I'm on means that I only get my period every three months which is awesome, but the tradeoff is that I'm supposed to take a pregnancy test every month because otherwise I could be three months pregnant before I ever had a clue.  I don't do that.  Sorry but I just don't like taking pregnancy tests.

Well I am now two days late, which normally is not a lot at all but when you're on the pill, it's like clockwork so yes, it is causing me concern.  And as any girl who's ever had a pregnancy scare can tell you, once you think you MIGHT be pregnant, you see signs everywhere.  I've been overtired lately, I've gained a few pounds, etc.

I'm taking a test in the morning but in the meantime, I've been thinking all day about what I would do if I am pregnant.  I don't want to be; I'm not ready for pregnancy.  I'm in school and working only part time and I have another year to go before I graduate.  I'm not with anyone right now and obviously I would prefer to be married when I have a kid so there are two of us involved.

Whose is it if there is an it?  Well at first I thought it might have been one of two guys,which really freaked me out because one of them is only 21 years old and not ready at all to even think about this stuff, but then I realized because of timing it would have to be the other guy, the former friend with benefits.  That wouldn't be so bad.

I'd keep it if I am.  I'm old enough to be able to figure out how to be a good mom that can support a kid and I do want kids someday and let's face it, at 29 again, I'm at the optimal time physically.  What about the guy? I haven't spoken to him in over a month.  We didn't end things badly; in fact, we didn't end things at all.  We just sort of stopped talking.  I'd have to call him and get him to just hang out before I could spring something like this on him. Plus I'd have to think carefully about how I told him.

I'm sure he's not thinking at ALL about having a kid right now and my decision to keep this kid would be mine alone; I wouldn't expect anything from him, financial or otherwise; unless he wanted to be a dad I wouldn't ask or expect him to be. Still, I couldn't NOT tell him about this. He deserves to know so he can make his own decisions just like I am doing.

So that's where I am. I didn't get myself into this predicament on purpose and I will be relieved if the test is negative, but if it's positive, I'll deal with it. Still, I'm nervous as hell which is why I'm up blogging at 1:22 AM. Pregnancy scares suck.