Pore Strips: The Highlight of My Saturday Night

Amusing myself on a Saturday night at home

• 4 pm-7pm: Took hugely long nap.
• 7:15pm-8pm: Drove to return The 40-Year-Old Virgin to the video store (a movie that amused me at times but I felt was highly overrated by most of my friends)
• Drove past Japanese restaurant where I would have been tending bar tonight had we not quit. No “Hire Bartender” sign in the window so either they found someone or had a Chinese bartender shipped in from NYC. (Seriously, all the waiters/waitresses, cooks, etc. are shipped in from NYC. I’m pretty sure they are all illegals and that Tim the sushi chef/owner is part of the Chinese mafia. I’m just saying.)
• Stopped at the liquor store to buy gin (Tanqueray, which is my second favorite after Bombay Sapphire, but also about $10 cheaper. Tanqueray is followed by Beefeaters, which is a few more bucks cheaper, then Seagram’s, God help me, if I’m really, really poor) & tonic water. Pondered on whether if I decided to drink alone tonight that made me an alcoholic and decided that so long as it wasn’t a habit the answer was no.
• 8pm-9:30pm: Screwed around doing nothing much.
• IMed with my buddy Mike in NC who asked me for a bj, to which I replied that he’d have to drive 7 hours to get it, to which he replied that NC is much farther than a 7 hour drive, to which I replied that I guessed he was SOL.
• IMed Jenn, who immediately called me on the phone. Doesn’t she get that I IM because I don’t WANT to talk on the phone? I mean, come on. Otherwise, I’d pick up the phone and dial instead. Spent excruciating ½ hour on phone with her until I figured out how to end the call. Made possible plans to go out with her later on.
• 9:30-10pm: Put on fuzzy Eeyore pj’s and officially decided to stay in for the night.
• Made my first (and what would turn out to be my only) gin & tonic
• Got something stuck in my teeth and dug around for floss, during which process I came across some old pore strips that belonged to my wussy Big X and decided I’d try them.
• First step was to wash the makeup off my face so I found a makeup remover cloth in my bedside stand that was all dried up (since I have been falling asleep with my makeup on for the past 6 months, which must be helping tremendously in my quest to develop nice, deep wrinkles). Added water to the cloth to make it usable and washed my face.
• Followed the pore strip directions and wet my nose with water from the same Poland Spring bottle (because when I decide to be lazy I decide to be REALLY lazy, to the point of not leaving one room to get to the one right next door with running water).
• Smoothed it down, got it all set, had a couple sips of my drink as it began to dry and then realized that I needed to blow the nose which was now encased in this pore strip. I won’t include the details but let’s just say should you decide to do this at home, blow your nose FIRST. Yeah, they don’t include THAT in the directions.
• Perused the political blogs for stuff about my candidate.
• 10pm-10:30pm: Decided to blog about my fun night home and wrote all of the above.
• 10:30pm-11:30pm: More miscellaneous fun
  
• Ooh, yay! Pore strip feels like Papier Mache, just like the instructions said it would when it is time to remove it! Removing hurt slightly less than waxing hurts. Was highly disappointed at not seeing lots of gross little blackheads sticking out of the strip even if that does mean I have good skin.
• Realized that I’m supposed to be doing an in-depth analysis of data for my group project (group who I am meeting tomorrow night at 8pm) and decided to put that off til tomorrow afternoon.
• Took motrin for a headache and then realized it was probably allergy related and I’m not allowed to mix allergy meds with my happy pills cuz the combo can kill me and all. Boo. May not have another drink after all.
  
• IMed a bunch more.
• Lost interest in blogging about my night.
• 11:30pm-2:30am: Alternately read a book, spaced out on my sinus medication (yeah, I decided to add sinus medication to the motrin mix in the hopes that it would solve the issues and not kill me), watched true crime stories on tv.
• Decided life was more fun with the pore strip on.
• Decided one night in per week is more than enough for me.