I Make a Hot Toddie

I was seized in the middle of class last night with coughing fits and a fever. I took some Dayquil, which is just never a good idea for me. Bouts of drug-induced paranoia and hysteria always soon follow. This time I began spouting something about "the foundation of my house is cracking as we speak!" (I don't even own a house) and "I just had a kid with three arms. I can't lose my job because how will I pay for my three-armed baby?"

Now yes, we were participating in an exercise that made the first comment at least slightly on-subject but there was no cause for the three-armed baby comment, as was demonstrated by the hysterical laughter that gripped the students for the remaining ten minutes of class. I fear my outbursts took the steam out of my dear friend Whit's class project. Bad Dayquil-drunk Tina! Bad!

When I got home I continued to be wracked with coughing, the deep chestal kind that rattles your whole rib cage. The damned Dayquil wasn't even doing its job, beyond making me act like an ass in class. So I decided what I needed was a good hot toddie. I researched toddie recipes as I have never had a hot toddie before. Here is a nice, easy-to-make one that was mmm, mmm yummy and did an excellent job of making my cough subside:

1. Take your favorite tea cup (or if you are like me and don't drink tea, coffee cup will do). I spent a bit of time deciding on whether to use my "Howard Dean for America" one or my "Is there life before coffee? Kitchen Little Eggstrordinaire" one. The latter is one of those cheezy white with blue writing mugs that I bought from this excellent breakfast place in Mystic, CT. You simply must have breakfast there if you are in Mystic. But I digress....

2. Take a bag of Chamomile Tea and add about 4 oz. of hot water. Let it steep for a minute or two.

3. Dig in the back of your refridgerator for honey. Put the honey in the microwave for ten seconds, pull it out and then read on the label where it says, "Do not microwave this container." Shrug your shoulders and add about two teaspoons of honey to your cup/mug.

4. Resume digging in your refridgerator until you find lemon juice (or if you happen to be Domestic Goddess, cut slice of fresh lemon and squeeze this into cup/mug). For non-Domestic Goddess, wipe dried ketchup off lid of lemon juice, briefly consider how old said lemon juice is, and whether lemon juice goes bad; then realize that when fruit goes bad it merely ferments, making it by dint of now containing alcohol better fruit, and then squeeze some lemon juice into your cupped/mugged concoction.

5. Get: Whiskey/brandy/dark rum. I chose whiskey. Of course, if you are indecisive, I see no reason why not to add all three. Fill the remainder of the mug/cup with alcohol of choice. Now, here is where the size of your container comes in. While most recipes call for two oz. of alcohol, I posit that whatever the size of the container, you simply must fill the container. SO if, say, your "Is there life before coffee? Kitchen Little Eggstrordinaire" white mug with blue writing holds 12 oz. of liquid, you are of course forced to add at least another 5 oz of alcohol to fill the mug.

6. Stir. Smell the aroma. Sip. Ah.

Of course, the flaw in my plan was the fact that I was still high on Dayquil. Last I remember was greedily gulping the last of my concoction before I must have passed out drunk/high. This morning I find the empty mug, a bottle of water, and my alarm clock scattered across the floor.

That was a good hot toddie.