Fun Times with the Family Dogs

So my broken elbow was doing better until I went to visit my mother the other day.

My sister Kristy has a new dog, a spaniel mix she adopted from Puerto Rico. Katie is her name. Katie is young, maybe a year old. Having been a street dog, she doesn't have the whole concept of not peeing indoors down yet. She needs to be walked often until she is better trained, so when my mom was visiting my other sister, Stacy, for the weekend and Kristy was still away at school, I dog-sat Katie at my apartment.

She managed, in one twenty-four hour period, to piss on my hardwood floors once, shit on then twice, run away and make me chase her around the neighborhood once, and to puke on the couch, unbeknownst to me until I sat in said puke while wearing my brand-new rubber duckie pajamas. Fun, fun weekend, folks. Oh, and she barked at everything all night long.

So the other day, I went to visit my mother. Katie pees when people pet her, so I let her out onto the front lawn so she could pee on the lawn instead of the foyer when I greeted her. My dad's dog, Baby, followed her out, and my dog, Goober, was already outside. Goober is good without a leash; she always just follows me around. Baby is alright without a leash most of the time. Katie--not okay without a leash.

I let her pee and then dragged her back to the front door with my good arm. But, being one-armed, I had to let her go in order to pry open the door. She just sat there waiting for the door to open until a damn car drove by and she decided to chase it. And Baby decided to chase her. So then I had to chase Baby and Katie, which caused Goober to chase me. So there we were, an elderly cocker spaniel chasing a slightly overweight girl with a broken elbow chasing an anorexic Shit-zu with glaucoma chasing a hyper Puerto Rican mutt chasing a car around the neighborhood.

Then Katie found a neighbor's beagle on its front lawn on a lead and decided to play with him. She ran around and around the neighbor's front yard and I ran around and around after her and Baby until finally Katie ran over to me and rolled over onto her back so she could get some belly rubs! I was so angry but all I could do was pick her up in my good arm and not scold her since she had finally come to me. I turned around and called Baby but she wouldn't come because she was still enthralled with the beagle. I had absolutely no choice but to scoop her up in my bad arm and carry her home.

But wait. Goober, who always follows me everywhere, was not following me. And why not? Because she was too busy shitting on the neighbor's front lawn! And my hands were too full to pick up after her, so I did the only thing I could--I ran away. Goober eventually followed.