Stacy Part I

My eyes are tired. My brain is tired. I need to be up early tomorrow morning but I just can't rest my mind yet.

I grew up in a perpetual state of hurt, anger, and disbelief at the way my younger sister, Stacy, was treated and the way she acted. You expect there to be a baby in the family, but that baby is usually not the middle child. You expect that in multi child homes, the kids will always think their parents play favorites. You don't expect that what the kids think is so blatantly true as to be commented on by outsiders.

I came to an understanding in recent years, and with that developed a peacefulness about the way things are with Stacy. She is so fragile that she will never be able to deal with the world as most people know it. She is the boy in the bubble, emotionally speaking. She loses it about everything; I am not exaggerating here--about everything. She backed over a rock with her car--hysterical for an hour. She got lost driving--you'd think that someone died.

My parents--in particular my mother--shelter her and help her as much as possible. She (Stacy) is a grown woman--27 years old--with a career as a teacher and yet she cannot do her job without my mother there 2 days a week to help her do it. I am not joking. My mother goes to school with Stacy and acts as her unpaid aid. And the truth is, Stacy couldn't do her job without my mother there like that.

Stacy calls my mother to find out what she should do with every major and minor decision in her life, from where she should apply for jobs to what brand of cereal she should get. It would be a slight exaggeration to say she needs my mother to tell her to wipe her ass after she shits. A slight one.

Sorry-began to go off on a rant there. My point is that it is a vicious circle. My parents favor Stacy because she needs the extra attention and protection. She needs the extra attention and protection from the real world because she has always been babied. It's a chicken and the egg situation and now it just is what it is. I've been okay with that for a long time but this last week I've gotten mad. Mad mostly at Stacy and a bit at my mother.

I'm going for a walk to cool off a bit. I'll finish in a bit.